I suffer bronchitis and a dr visit today cost me $230. I tried home remedies first obvisously the internet is not for the unknowing,  because they didn't work. Now I fight the obvious and the tainted virus.

Which leads me to....I have scheduled a consultation with the Dr. for next Monday. I can't consider treatment if I want to keep my job, and insura nce. If I keep my job and insurance what quality of life does that leave me and for how long, job and life.
I've been looking to the internet for the symptoms i.e. how painful and what the end will be dying from the virus. The funny, well not so funny thing is there seems to be no in depth details on the way I will die, that I can find.
I think in that meeting I need to speak of de pression I have long suffered this due to many many contributing factors.  But one that comes to mind...... "I always say there must have been a horse thief hung from a tall tree in my genological tree. Because I constantly have issues with transportation."
Currently I catch the transit system, am a month behind on my hou se payment. Have medical bills I have not paid currently, hopefully counting on a Federal refund.
But of course I will die, the movie 50/50 comes to mind now as I type this,  I will die. I know what I will die for some is unusual. Do I pay these bills, why do I even consider that, because this is my debt. But I will die.  Should I do something I really really want to do. Like buy myself new panties and bras and new work clothes. But will I need those work clothes........of course I will...or will I.......

I could live 10 more years. I will could get to see my oldest daughter and husband get there farm they dream for. I will  could get to see my son make choices that are responsible. I will could get to see my youngest and her husband birth their first child. I will could get to forfill my bucket list if I had one.

On another subject I follow blogs of self sufficent, I'm a meer speck  (but am learning to better garden, knit, can and cook from scratch [not totally ]) and had I read QC post on use for your old tee shirts I would have never.... never thrown away my tees as well as my childrens tees.  So you can only image my surprise in opening a yarn products email that I have purchased in the past and like... to see this!   if only we had known!  .